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When Mother's Day is Bittersweet

Kim Mazur

Posted on May 09 2020

When Mother's Day is Bittersweet
I've shared this before, but perhaps you've never heard my story. This time of year is always bittersweet for me. Mother's Day in particular. You see, in 2000, I lost the two women who had been my closest friends, supporters, cheerleaders, helpers, and mentors. 

My mom, and her mom, my grandma.

My mom was only 52 years young when she was diagnosed with Pick's Disease. It is a rare form of dementia and in 1993, there was not much known about the disease. Though my mom was physically present, her personality and mental faculties disappeared a little more each day. 

When Mom's health failed, Grandma stepped in and filled the gap; I saw her strength made even more evident. Mom's illness drew us ever closer together, leaning on each other. She was there for me, in ever greater measure, and I was there for her, as much as I could be. We needed each other, we were both suffering the same loss.  Mom stepped into her eternal heavenly home in August of 2000.

Grandma was there to welcome her. Having passed away suddenly of a combination of ongoing health issues, Grandma graduated to heaven in January of 2000. 

Why do I share all of this?

Because I know that the holidays can be hard. I also know that they can be sweet.

God has blessed me with a wonderful family. My husband Gary and I have two children. Our son Chris (who will always be Christopher to us) and his wife Brenda have three beautiful daughters. Our daughter Jessica and her husband Charlie have two beautiful children, a daughter and a son.
Becoming grandparents is one of the greatest blessings we have known.

I choose not to live in the past, to dwell on the sadness, the grief of missing them. But sometimes the emotions come over me and overwhelm me for a moment. 

Perhaps they overwhelm you sometimes, too. Perhaps your situation involves a different kind of separation from loved ones, one that is not permanent, but is still painful. Let me implore you to mend those rifts, do all you can to be the one to set aside your differences and make things right - while you are able. 

Celebrate your family, make time for them. Make amends if needed. 

Celebrate with friends. Reach out and invite them to spend time with you. 

For those of you who find Mother's Day bittersweet because you have lost a child, or are unable to have children, I will not pretend to understand the depth of your pain. What I will suggest is that you reach out to your family and friends and let them know that you need their support, their time, their love. Remember, it's hard for them to know what to say or do, you need to make them aware of how they can help. 

And if your mom is still here, do everything you can to make sure she knows how much you love her and how important she is to you and your family. I'm so glad that I was able to do that with my mom and my grandma. 
        
May God bless you as you prepare for Mother's Day.
           - Kim 

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